She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
It's rum buckets o'clock
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
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