She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Randomize
