is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
