I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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