seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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