he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Randomize
