Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
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me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
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