kristin has been a bad kristin
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
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