Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Randomize
