So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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