Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
we made out on top of his cat.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
