My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
