ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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