She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
