He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Randomize
