Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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