my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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