just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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