How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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