Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
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