No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Randomize
