Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
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