Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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