2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize
