At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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