there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
