She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Tumblr User Tells Story About A ‘Demon Gets Adopted By A Grandma’& It Needs To Be A F**king Movie
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously