Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (713): View more from Texas

  I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (713): I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way... http://tfl.nu/0604
  Replies (12) Good night (819) Bad night (1461)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (630): I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted. http://tfl.nu/87dj
  Replies (84) Good night (8051) Bad night (1505)
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (516): I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume http://tfl.nu/0r2u
  Replies (47) Good night (2121) Bad night (4506)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  I don't remember what your face looks like..

  (727): View more from Florida

  I don't remember your face either, just your dick.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (248): I don't remember what your face looks like.. (727): I don't remember your face either, just your dick. http://tfl.nu/odit
  Replies (19) Good night (6412) Bad night (998)
• Favorite

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (401): I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper? http://tfl.nu/78fg
  Replies (2) Good night (1045) Bad night (2534)
• Favorite

  (605): View more from South Dakota

  woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (605): woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder. http://tfl.nu/fadr
  Replies (7) Good night (3407) Bad night (891)
• Favorite

  (225): View more from Louisiana

  She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (225): She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers http://tfl.nu/m8b0
  Replies (9) Good night (897) Bad night (1909)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (908): almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow http://tfl.nu/cscz
  Replies (13) Good night (4589) Bad night (922)
• Favorite

  (219): View more from Indiana

  Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (219): Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt http://tfl.nu/6y5k
  Replies (4) Good night (1737) Bad night (735)
• Favorite

  (336): View more from North Carolina

  Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (336): Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper http://tfl.nu/9t3g
  Replies (12) Good night (2280) Bad night (1074)
• Favorite

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (724): Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression. http://tfl.nu/uaau
  Replies (9) Good night (552) Bad night (1335)
• Favorite

  (970): View more from Colorado

  I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (970): I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk. http://tfl.nu/5c91
  Replies (11) Good night (1249) Bad night (500)
• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat

  (1-631): View more from New York

  I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (631): She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat (1-631): I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness http://tfl.nu/blnl
  Replies (4) Good night (1156) Bad night (558)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (206): you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus" http://tfl.nu/hgga
  Replies (1) Good night (650) Bad night (170)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (443): Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting http://tfl.nu/a81f
  Replies (2) Good night (432) Bad night (206)

Randomize