Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
21 Times Karma Showed These People Not to Mess Around
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year