Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
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