Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.