Texts From Last Night

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  (443): View more from Maryland

  they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"

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  (443): they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field" http://tfl.nu/je3y
  Replies (11) Good night (2140) Bad night (666)
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.

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  (604): just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe. http://tfl.nu/ejrn
  Replies (26) Good night (723) Bad night (3795)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?

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  (214): How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus? http://tfl.nu/1khv
  Replies (23) Good night (1518) Bad night (6764)
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  (765): View more from Indiana

  just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.

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  (765): just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win. http://tfl.nu/bjq4
  Replies (17) Good night (9127) Bad night (1000)
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  (252): View more from North Carolina

  I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship

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  (252): I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship http://tfl.nu/ldcl
  Replies (21) Good night (4494) Bad night (1488)
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  (518): View more from New York

  you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved

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  (518): you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved http://tfl.nu/hfsv
  Replies (15) Good night (4204) Bad night (928)
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  (210): View more from Texas

  I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.

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  (210): I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it. http://tfl.nu/c8qq
  Replies (4) Good night (2396) Bad night (876)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...

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  (203): That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa... http://tfl.nu/lw9n
  Replies (7) Good night (2334) Bad night (999)
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob

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  (775): Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob http://tfl.nu/1w2d
  Replies (6) Good night (724) Bad night (1360)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms

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  (970): Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms http://tfl.nu/zzyw
  Replies (1) Good night (575) Bad night (916)
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  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.

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  (262): Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs. http://tfl.nu/x449
  Replies (1) Good night (590) Bad night (1043)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?

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  (781): Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it? http://tfl.nu/aevy
  Replies (10) Good night (1482) Bad night (675)
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  (310): View more from California

  Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).

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  (310): Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok). http://tfl.nu/yawu
  Replies (2) Good night (968) Bad night (421)
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'

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  (702): Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me' http://tfl.nu/i2h1
  Replies (4) Good night (1185) Bad night (439)
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  (305): View more from Florida

  I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."

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  (305): I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season." http://tfl.nu/ns3v
  Replies (2) Good night (801) Bad night (296)

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