ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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