I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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