roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Randomize