how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Randomize
