She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
