What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
