Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Randomize
