my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize
