I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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