On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
