i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
im holly from the hills drunk
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Randomize
