he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
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