Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
