She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
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