remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
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