i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
