Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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