she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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