He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
