Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
