At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Randomize
