Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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