thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
