dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
