I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
