dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
